The Point Scoring Adventures of a Third Wheeling Moose
by the iz
Summary: Having Castiel human and in the bunker is great, except Sam can't take any more unresolved tension. So he's on a mission to get Cas and Dean together at last. A moosion, one could say... (Sorry). Destiel with shipper Sammy. Mostly Sam's POV. Rated for swearing and sexual references, but no explicit smut. AU in that the Gadreel storyline is erased. Reviews are treasured! Enjoy!
1. The time with the convenient song lyrics

**Hi!**  
 **I love me some matchmaking Sammy so I decided to do a five part series about destielshipper!Sam. This fic is kinda weird in parts and I'll be the first to admit that. It's a tad AU in that it goes from Cas becoming human in S9 but erases the whole Gadreel thing so basically Team Free Will and Kevin are just a happy bunker family with minimal drama. I also have Sam swearing a fair bit, which I'm not actually sure he'd do, but in the words of my slightly OOC Moose: fuck it.**  
 **Hope you likey!**

The time with the convenient song lyrics

Dean should probably never have invited me to add an aux cord to the Impala. I suppose he was feeling generous, and he did grudgingly admit that some of my music wasn't THAT shitty. I wasn't particularly bothered about it, just glad that some variety might be introduced into the long car trip soundtracks.

But then I witnessed something. Something which enlightened me as to the possibilities of the opportunity presented to me.

A mere hour after being informed of my new privileges, I happened to walk through the library where I'd left Florence and the Machine playing. To my rather smug surprise I found Dean sitting in there with a beer, feet propped up on the table, frowning pensively at the ceiling. His lightly tapping toes told me that he was listening to the song, but his pursed lips and furrowed brow told me that something about it was bothering him. I listened to the lyrics:

 _But with all my education_

 _I can't seem to command it_

 _And the words are all escaping_

 _Coming back all damaged_

 _And I would put them back in poetry_

 _If I only knew how_

 _I can't seem to understand it and_

 _I would give all this and heaven too..._

I smirked as I watched my brother try to simultaneously ignore and figure out why this song reminded him of Cas. Because of course it reminded him of Cas. It reminded me of Cas, and I wasn't even secretly in love with Cas. Shaking my head, I left Dean to his wallowing and decided that it might be constructive to inspire more of this introspection from him, using a certain iPod attached to a certain car.

To my delight Cas joined us on our next hunt, having been human for a whole week. Dean deemed him OK to come along after making sure that he was fit and healthy and putting him through some basic weapons training with both of us. I quickly plugged in my iPod for the long drive and then claimed the backseat so that I could stretch out for a nap a bit later. Settling back as we pulled away from the bunker, I watched my two companions closely as the song I'd chosen came on. I'd picked this track because it was actually so suitable for my brother and his angel that it was almost creepy.

 _You are the hole in my head_

 _You are the space in my bed_

 _You are the silence in between_

 _What I thought and what I said_

Dean had gone a little stiff as soon as he recognised the artist, although that could be attributed to simple disgust at any music that wasn't his music. As the lyrics progressed, though, I saw him glance sideways at Cas, who was cocking his head as if listening intently. Dean's hands were tight on the steering wheel but Cas looked relaxed; he even nodded slightly, as though agreeing with the song. I grinned to myself as the harps wheeled us dizzily into the chorus.

 _No light, no light_

 _In your bright blue eyes-_

"Sammy, what is this crap?" snapped my brother with unnecessary aggression. Cas shot him a frown, bright blue eyes narrowed reproachfully. I chuckled to myself. Looked like I'd have to get Cas into Florence and the Machine.

"What? I like Florence," I shugged innocently. Dean scowled at the road and muttered insults at me for the rest of the song, whilst Cas stared out the window, face slightly scrunched up. As soon as the song ended, Dean ripped the cord out.

"My turn," he said loudly as one of his mix CDs started up. I frowned but my expression quickly turned to a smirk as I realised what the song was. Dean's triumphant expression soured to mild horror as he recognised the track a second after me. Leaning forward, I stuck my head between the front seats, smiling widely.

"Man, I gotta say, good choice, Dean. You're right, this is a classic. Cas, you'll love this one, listen to it carefully, yeah?" Grinning at Dean's pained expression, I withdrew just as the lyrics started, watching Castiel cock his head as he listened intently.

 _I can't fight this feeling any longer_

 _And yet I'm still afraid to let it show_

 _What started out as friendship has grown stronger_

 _I only wish I had the strength to let it show_

I had to press my lips tightly together to keep from laughing out loud. Dean's grip on the steering wheel looked painful and he was shooting small, deeply uncomfortable glances across to Cas, who was actually smiling a little, although he looked more wistful than amused.

 _You give my life direction_

 _You make everything so clear_

Cas slowly turned his head and stared at Dean for a moment before audibly sighing and looking back at the player. Dean flicked his eyes across to the ex-angel right after this and I made a face as though I was watching a basketball game and my team had missed a shot. I leaned forward in anticipation as the chorus drew near.

 _And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might..._

Unable to resist being a bit of an asshole, I lurched into the front space again and sang the chorus loudly between the two silent men in the front, nudging Dean when he scowled at the road instead of joining in.

 _And I can't fight this feeling any more_

 _I've forgotten what I started fighting for_

 _It's time to bring this ship into the shore_

 _And throw away the oars, forever_

Realising that Dean was apparently too affected by the song to even pretend otherwise, I let my voice trail off and gave an awkward laugh as I leaned back in my seat. Castiel was openly watching Dean now, but my brother was flushed red and refusing to budge his gaze from the road. We all sat in silence for the rest of the song. As the next track started - thankfully not a love song - Cas finally tore his eyes from Dean and twisted to look at me, blue eyes soft and sad.

"That was a good song, Sam. Human music can be very... touching."

I smiled sympathetically at him. "Yeah. It sure can. I find that music often helps me realise stuff about myself, you know?"

I looked hard at the back of Dean's head at this point. His narrowed eyes met mine in the mirror and we shared a glare intense enough to rival some of the staring between him and Castiel, although thankfully without the eye fucking element. Cas turned back to the front, oblivious, and stared out of his window for the next half hour. I stretched out on the seat and wondered if this had just been pointless, or if it had somehow served as a stepping stone to my brother recognising his own feelings. I felt a strange duty to help him in that, to nudge him towards his happiness without scaring him off of it. The music had been just one of many ways in which I could do so. I could definitely keep an eye out for more opportunities.


	2. The time with lots of alcohol

The time with lots of alcohol

Getting drunk was my idea, but Dean took little convincing. I only had to suggest that it might be fun to turn up some music and do some shots and Dean was putting together a playlist and searching through the liquour cabinet. Kevin retired to his room as soon as he caught wind of our plans, scowling in distaste.

Before long Dean, Castiel and I were sat at the library table, music playing loudly. A half-full bottle of bourbon and a full bottle of tequila were in the centre, challenging us. I poured out three shots of tequila and handed them out; clinking glasses, we downed the drinks together.

We repeated this over again several times, switching between bourbon and tequila for a truly fucking disgusting taste experience. Between each round, I coaxed Dean into a karaoke of whatever song was on; he started off reluctant, but after six shots he was belting out Alice Cooper's 'Poison' to the ceiling, using his shotglass as a fake microphone. I tried to sing as well, but I was laughing too hard. The song finished and Dean giggled his way through a bow, almost smacking his forehead on the table. He grinned and winked at Castiel, leaning close with a hand on the back of Cas's chair.

"You a lil' bit drunk yet, angel?" he slurred, apparently unaware that he was giving his best friend the bedroom eyes and cheeky smirk that he usually reserved for hot chicks at bars. Cas's mouth dropped open, cheeks flushing and he stared at Dean, looking lost for words, fingers wrapping nervously around his shotglass. He and Dean gazed at each other for a long moment, faces way too close, before they both blinked and looked away, bright red. Used to ignoring awkward moments of sexual tension between these dumbasses, I poured three more shots and passed one each to Dean and Castiel, grinning evilly at them both.

"You know what's fun after a few drinks?" I said casually. "Truth or Dare."

Dean groaned dramatically before knocking back his shot and shrugging, obviously trying to shake off the weird moment. "Let's do it!"

Castiel tipped back his drink too, grimacing and wiping his mouth. He frowned at me, having trouble focusing very well; evidently he got as hammered as everyone else when he was human. "What is Truth and Dare, Sam?"

"Truth OR Dare," I corrected him. "It's a game, it's simple. Look, watch: Dean? Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," smirked Dean, leaning back dangerously in his chair. I sniggered and turned back to Cas.

"Dean chose dare, so now I get to make him do something and he can't say no," I explained in an overly loud voice, grinning away. "If he'd said truth I'd get to ask him a question and he'd have to answer it without lying. See?"

Castiel nodded slowly, wide blue eyes sliding across to Dean. I drew myself up importantly and fixed Dean with an imperious gaze. "Dean Winchester, you must sit in Castiel's lap for the rest of the game."

Dean's mouth dropped open at the exact same time as Cas's and I burst out laughing at their identical expressions of shock, doubling over in my chair. Dean's eyes narrowed and he snapped his mouth closed. Glaring at me, he shoved his chair back and stood. He paused for a moment, seemingly gathering himself, before looking down at Castiel with raised eyebrows.

"D'you mind?" he asked in a surprisingly polite voice. Cas broke into a shy but pleased grin, looking way too eager as he pushed his chair back, gesturing to his slightly parted knees. Dean looked determined to act casual as he sat down carefully on the ex-angel's lap, at a slight angle to allow Cas to see past him. Snatching the bottle from the table, he poured himself another shot, studiously ignoring my sniggering across the table. Castiel looked utterly engrossed in the person suddenly occupying his personal space, hands hovering in the air instead of touching him, cerulean eyes fixed on his profile.

"OK," said Dean after he'd downed his shot. "My go! Sam, truth or dare?"

I shook my head, amused laughter dying down. "Truth, man, I don't care."

Dean smirked at me, looking oddly at ease in his new seat, leaning back towards Cas without appearing to realise he was doing it. "Hmm. OK. OK. Do you, or do you not, think that Jody is kinda hot?"

Shit. I groaned, covering my face with my hands, hearing my brother cackle with triumph. I peeked through my fingers to see him twist around and hold up his hand to hi-five Castiel, who looked mildly confused but obliged him all the same, letting his other hand finally rest on Dean's lower back. Dean twitched but appeared to ignore the contact, turning back to look expectantly at me. I lowered my hands, glowering at him.

"You think she's hot too," I snapped. Dean snorted.

"Well yeah, but I don't have wet dreams about her."

I was no longer forbidden to lie, so I did. "I have never had any kind of dream about Jody, Dean, don't be an ass. Cas, it's your go, pick either one of us."

Castiel tore his gaze away from Dean's mouth and glanced at me before nodding and looking thoughtful. To nobody's surprise, he directed his question at Dean. "Dean, truth or dare?"

Dean didn't look at him, toying with his shotglass as he answered hesitantly, a light flush creeping up his neck and jawline. "Dare?"

Cas nodded slowly, furrowing his brow in thought. "Alright... Uh... Maybe... No, I have no idea. Sam, could you help me?"

Dean's face went immediately paler and he glared at me as I smiled innocently back. "Of course, Cas! Hmm, let's see. OK, I have one. Dean, I dare you to wear your shirt tied around your head for the rest of the game."

Dean swore under his breath; he was only wearing a t shirt. But he was way too drunk to think better of it at this point. Still seated on Castiel's lap, he pulled the shirt off, twisting it up and wrapping it around his head before tucking it into a rough, lopsided sort of turban. I snorted uncontrollably at Cas's enormous eyes and slack jaw; I couldn't have given the guy a better gift if I'd tried. Dean carefully avoided looking at Cas, choosing instead to scowl at me.

"It's pretty fucking creepy to get your own brother to strip, just sayin'," he informed me waspishly, folding his arms. Cas's darkening blue gaze centred dazedly on Dean's closest bicep and I broke down into giggles again.

"Sorry, man, you're just too pretty!" I replied cheerfully. "My go again. Cas, truth or dare?"

Cas looked at me straight away, to his credit, although his hands were shaking where he held them inches away from Dean's bare skin. His voice wasn't much better when he answered. "Truth."

Dean swallowed nervously and I sniggered, but decided not to be the one to completely destroy their carefully constructed platonic charade. I couldn't entirely resist, though. "What's your type? Like, physically."

Cas screwed up his face. "I'm not sure what you mean. Are you referring to what I might find aesthetically or sexually attractive in humans?"

"Yeah," answered Dean before I could, twisting to look at Castiel, whose breathing visibly quickened as their eyes met inches apart. The poor guy was totally unequipped to deal with the situation whilst drunk and I was a bit amazed that he was as calm as he was. Dean continued as though oblivious to the effect he had on the inexperienced human, which was sadly probably the case. These two were fucking tragic. "Like, what would your ideal woman look like?"

Despite his distraction, Cas frowned in confusion. "Why specifically women?"

Dean looked puzzled and I shook my head in disbelief at how clueless he could be. I took over again. "No, Cas, any gender or no particular gender, whatever you like. Just your ideal human, physically."

Cas nodded and thought for a moment while my brother stared at me, green eyes wide, shock written all over his face. I raised my eyebrows at him impatiently and he looked away, gazing blankly at the table. I wondered if he'd actually assumed that Castiel - until recently, an ancient celestial being who probably had trouble even differentiating between humans of different genders, races and ages - would exclusively be attracted to women just because his physical form was male. I shook my head, amazed and saddened by the stranglehold that heteronormativity had on my poor brother. Social conditioning is a bitch.

"I think I like physical fitness and strength, in any gender," Cas suddenly piped up, looking off into the distance. "I suppose I like different things in more feminine humans and more masculine ones. I like feminine humans to be shorter than me but masculine ones to be taller. I like interesting skin, on anyone."

"Interesting skin?" I echoed. Cas shrugged. Dean was staring at him now, but the ex-angel appeared to be avoiding his gaze.

"I knew an angel whose vessel was a woman with patches of brown skin and patches of my colour skin. She said it was a disorder but I thought it was beautiful. And I like... tattoos. Or just things like moles and... freckles." He muttered the last word, looking at the floor. I smiled at Dean's blush and obvious gulp. Bingo.

"OK, what about hair and eyes?" I pressed. Cas frowned at me.

"I don't have much of a preference. I like light eyes better than dark eyes, I suppose. Blue or grey. Or, um, green. And, uh, long eyelashes are nice." He smiled weakly at me, still ignoring Dean's intense study of his face. "Honestly, I used to have to concentrate to even take in much about a human's physical appearance, I usually saw souls much more clearly than flesh. I only really saw the details of your faces clearly when I became human. It was a bit of an overwhelming moment."

He finally dragged his eyes up to Dean's at that point, and the two of them shared yet another long, meaningful stare. Cas's right hand finally closed the distance and settled against the other man's bare waist. Dean drew in a sharp breath and scrambled off of Cas's lap, frowning.

"I am really fucking drunk," he announced in my direction, trying to grin but looking mildly panicked instead. "I think I'll head to bed. Night, guys."

Shooting a small, stiff smile at Castiel, he turned and walked unsteadily out of the room. I sighed and looked at Cas, who was staring after him with a mournful expression, hands still slightly raised.

"Sorry," I said to him, not sure what exactly I was apologising for. Cas smiled wearily at me, lowering his hands to fold in his lap.

"That's alright, Sam," he murmured. "I've had a good time tonight. Alcohol is very interesting."

I snorted. It sure as hell was that.


	3. The time with Charlie Bradbury

The time with Charlie Bradbury

Castiel, after the first few weeks, was turning out to be a really natural addition to our bunker household. He seemed to be able to get Kevin to relax a little from his usual highly strung state, and they now regularly had quiet discussions over huge bowls of corn chips, or sat together reading in companionable silence. I often joined them, prompting Dean to dub us 'the three nerdeteers'. It needed some work but hell, he'd given me worse nicknames in the past.

It was sort of nice, all of us helping our friend ease into human life. Cas wanted to learn to cook, so I showed him some recipes involving actual vegetables and Kevin, to my surprise, taught us all how to do a proper noodle stir fry the way his Mom made it. Cas wanted to learn to drive, too, which Dean volunteered to take care of a little too quickly. I wished I could have been a fly on the wall for those lessons; they always came back smiling and full of secret jokes and fond anecdotes. Losers. Unfortunately, I was yet to witness any hilarious scenes involving Cas wandering around in a towel and Dean's eyes popping out of his head, but patience is a virtue.

Despite all of this, there was one member of our makeshift family who Castiel hadn't had the chance to get to know. Luckily Charlie rang us up about a month after Cas had fallen, inviting herself to stay for a few days as she'd be in the area. Dean was excited, Kevin was more pleased than he let on and Cas was nervous to meet our adopted kid sister. I was feeling happy about it too, and this only increased when it occurred to me: Charlie had suspected that Dean wasn't entirely straight since she'd met him, and I'd already mentioned his weird tension with Castiel to her. Kevin was fairly indifferent to my quest to release Dean from his own fears, but Charlie would help me. Charlie would see what was really going on.

She arrived around dinner time and made a beeline for Cas, who stood frozen as she hugged him and punched him gleefully in the arm.

"We are gonna become best friends," she promised him in her bright, excited voice. The ex-angel smiled weakly at her and she beamed, eyes darting sharply between Castiel and Dean next to him.

"Deano, you didn't tell me your buddy here was such a stone-cold cutie!" she teased as she threw her arms around Dean's neck. He gave a nervous bark of laughter, glancing at the blushing man in question, who rubbed his neck and grinned shyly in a way that even I had to admit was fucking adorable. Dean rambled awkwardly as he pulled back from the smirking redhead.

"Well, yeah, I just... um... Charlie, wait up. You're a goddamn lesbian!"

Charlie fixed Dean with a beady glare. "Sexuality is not set in stone, don't be so narrow-minded! But yes. I'm a lesbian. Don't worry, he's all yours!"

She left him red-faced and frowning, mouth working but no words coming out. Winking mischievously at me, Charlie stretched up for hug and whispered in my ear: "Holy Hogwarts, you weren't kidding!"

I chuckled at her as she flung herself at Kevin, even drawing a proper laugh out of him with her enthusiasm. "Kev, bro, it's so good to see you! I have a book you'll love and I totally found this chick who's perfect for you, she only lives one state over and she's definitely straight, I found that out the hard way..."

She chattered on as she linked arms with him and led him away. I smiled over at Dean, who had regained his calm and was watching Cas with an amused expression. The ex-angel was looking a little dazed and slightly unsure.

"Hey, man, don't worry," Dean told him lightly. "She likes you."

Cas smiled gratefully at him, shoulders relaxing, and I rolled my eyes. Charlie and I really needed to sort this shit out.

We didn't get the chance to discuss it until that evening. Dean dragged Cas off to watch 'Aliens' straight after dinner, as we'd watched the first film the night before. I settled at the library table with Charlie and Kevin, making small talk initially. However, Charlie clearly meant business and Kevin's presence didn't seem to deter her.

"So anyway," she said casually after a bland comment about the weather. "Have Dean and Castiel always wanted to screw each other or was it a gradual thing?"

I choked slightly on my coffee, but Kevin shrugged without surprise. "They've been that way since I came onto the scene. Sam? Was it love at first eye fuck?"

Both of them were looking at me expectantly and I carefully placed my coffee onto the table before answering. "Almost, yeah. I think it was Cas first. I think he's accepted it, actually, probably years back. It's Dean who doesn't acknowledge it."

Charlie wrinkled her nose at me, seemingly annoyed. "I'm not one to condone pushing people out of the closet, so I understand why you don't talk about it with your brother, but... Have you never thought to just ask Castiel about it?"

Kevin and I exchanged an exasperated look. "Charlie, guys don't tend to bring up that stuff. I doubt Cas wants to talk about it. Crushes are embarrassing."

Charlie's eye roll matched both of ours put together. "Oh my god, spare me the macho shit, you guys cry and bitch more than any of the girls I know. Besides, duh, Castiel isn't a typical dude. He's not even a human, not properly. And this is way more than a crush. They weren't even the same species but Castiel gave up everything for Dean and he's been devoted to him ever since. They can't have a damn conversation without gazing at each other like no one else exists. Guys, it's the real thing! It's proper, Amy and Rory, I'd-die-for-you true love!"

There was a short silence after her impassioned speech. Kevin looked sceptical but I was feeling sort of bolstered by her belief in the feelings between my brother and his best friend. I'd been starting to wonder if I was crazy, if it was a symptom of my isolation from other people that I was investing so much time and energy into subtly encouraging the two men I lived with to admit that they were in love. Sometimes I was sure I'd made up the whole fucking thing in my mind, but if Charlie and even Kevin saw it too, it must have been there after all.

"OK," I said simply. "So what do I do?"

Charlie looked thoughtful. "Well, you can't rush Dean. You know he'll run scared if he has to face this all at once. He needs to think he got there all on his own. And if you won't talk to Castiel about it, I will. Poor guy should have some kind of outlet."

At that very moment, the man in question wandered into the room, Dean nowhere in sight. The three of us at the table all froze as he frowned curiously at us.

"Talk to me about what?"

Charlie opened her mouth but then blushed and closed it again. I decided to divert the situation. "Hey, Cas. Where's Dean? What happened to the movie?"

Castiel shrugged, walking over and sitting opposite me. "The DVD was damaged so Dean is downloading an illegal copy of it from the internet. I questioned the morals of such an action so he told me to, um, 'piss off' and come talk to you guys until he's done. He said it would take around twenty minutes."

"Crappy internet much?" muttered Charlie, but she immediately smiled warmly at Cas. "It's good that you walked in, Castiel, we wanted to talk to you."

"Charlie," I warned, but she shut me up with an acidic look. Cas shifted in his seat and nodded at her to continue. She folded her hands carefully on the table, looking slightly nervous now. Kevin leaned back in his chair, eyebrows raised. I gulped.

"Cas," she began, then paused. "It's OK if I call you Cas, right?"

He smiled. "Of course, Charlie."

She beamed at him. "Cool. Well, unlike these two, I have read the Supernatural books. And they got a lot wrong. I mean, Dean's abs are not nearly so chiseled in real life, and Sam's eyes are hazel, not blue."

Castiel nodded solemnly. "That's true."

Charlie grinned and continued. "However, there are some things in the books which I assumed would be inaccurate, but have turned out to be very true. For instance, you. More specifically, your relationship with Dean."

Cas's mouth tightened and he looked away, shifting again in his chair. "What about it?"

Charlie didn't hold back. "Cas, are you in love with Dean?"

There was a ringing silence. Kevin closed his eyes as if in pain. I gulped again. Shit, maybe we should have left it alone. Cas looked up, eyes wide and shocked. He began to stutter a response. "Wha... I mean, I... I..."

Charlie clapped a hand over her mouth and nose, grey-green eyes wide over the top.

"Oh crap, you are!" she squeaked, the words muffled. I rolled my eyes.

"Charlie, you already knew that, we all did." She lowered her hand and took a calming breath, nodding rapidly, eyes still on Cas.

"Yeah, yep, sorry," she said breathlessly. Kevin snorted and Castiel bit his lip, looking slightly panicky, eyes darting between all of us. Charlie leaned forward and stretched a hand across the table, offering it to him. He stared at it and then, slowly like a spooked animal, he placed his fingers over hers. She hooked their hands together, eyes kind and gentle.

"It's OK, Cas," she murmured, holding his gaze. "Sam's right, we do all know, but Dean is totally blind. And we're not going to say anything to him unless you want us to. You're safe."

He relaxed a little and mustered up a weak smile before looking at me, still wary. I grinned at him, shrugging. "It's cool with me. I've known for years."

Cas's brow furrowed. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Charlie answered for me, expression annoyed. "Because Sam's an emotionally repressed douchebag. It runs in their family. Dean's even worse."

Cas and I both frowned but she was kind of right. She continued in a quiet tone. "Cas, we just wanted to check up on you. Are you OK? Dean's, well... not an easy person to love."

Castiel looked down at the table, at his hand wrapped in hers, mouth twisting to the side. "No, he's not. I'm OK if he's OK, though. Which means I'm OK very little of the time, but right now is pretty good."

He smiled wearily at Charlie and she grinned at him. "Oh, boy, that's cute. But I meant, like... it doesn't bother you? The way he acts? That he doesn't show if he feels the same way?"

Cas looked confused, doing his signature head tilt, and glanced at me again. I nodded encouragingly at him and he replied in a puzzled tone. "I know he doesn't feel exactly as I do. I know that there are different kinds of love. Why should that bother me?"

Ignoring my deeply held suspicion that Dean absolutely did feel exactly as Cas did, I tried to explain. "Cas, normally when you're in love with someone, you want them to love you back. You want to be together properly."

"Be with Dean? As a... couple?" He blinked and wrinkled his nose as he said it, like it was a foreign concept to him. "Well... I guess that would be nice, yes. Of course it would. Yes. But that's just not plausible. Besides, I don't need anything from Dean except his friendship, if that's all he wants to give."

"Wow," breathed Charlie, eyes suspiciously sparkly, and even Kevin looked touched. I grinned like an idiot, weirdly pleased for my brother that he'd managed to inspire such selfless devotion. Charlie gave Castiel's hand a firm squeeze before letting go and leaning back.

"Well, Dean's an idiot if that is all he wants to give," Charlie announced, folding her arms. "I don't care how straight he thinks he is. You are totally worth hopping the fence for!"

Cas smiled at her affectionate wink but then frowned in confusion. "What fence?"

We all burst out laughing.


	4. The time with the very short shorts

**Erm. Yeah so things get maybe a touch kinky this chapter? I tried not to make Sam into a creepy voyeur but these things just happen sometimes. I wasn't going for Wincestiel either, but if you want to infer that from this chapter I wouldn't blame you.  
Sorry if Cas and Dean are OOC, I don't really think they'd be quite like this but it amuses me so I wrote it. Artistic license, right? Hope this strikes you as fun rather than weird and icky XD**

The time with the very short shorts

It was an unusually lazy, quiet day in the bunker. Kevin wasn't around, having been dragged off on a 'bonding' trip with his Mom. Dean had wandered out of a late morning shower about forty minutes beforehand and had just gone off to wash the Impala, so he'd be several hours. I was relaxing in the library with a jug of coffee and a plate of fruit and toast for lunch, reading the newest of the 'A Song of Ice and Fire' books.

"Where's Dean?"

I looked up to see Castiel standing in the doorway with messy hair, wearing jogging pants and a hoodie. He was blinking blearily, having just dragged himself out of bed in time to still call it morning. I shot him a fake annoyed look.

"Gee, nice to see you too, Cas. Good morning."

Whilst all out of actual angel grace, the novice human at least had the metaphorical grace to look ashamed. "I apologise, Sam. How has your morning been?"

Snorting, I popped a grape into my mouth, laying my book down. "Great, actually. Quiet. You have a good sleep in?"

Cas nodded, wandering towards the table. "Yes. I enjoy sleeping. Nightmares are too common an occurrence, though."

I frowned in sympathy. "You get nightmares?"

"More and more as I've gotten used to sleeping. That's why I was looking for Dean. I know that he suffers from nightmares sometimes."

Several things were on the tip of my tongue; curiosity about the contents of his nightmares, concern that he might have been having trouble coping with being human, assurance that I got nightmares too, possibly a scathing comment that Dean dealt with nightmares the way he dealt with everything else: suppression and alcohol.

But then I got a wickedly excellent idea.

"OK, well if you're looking for Dean, he's in the garage," I said casually, picking up my book again. "He's washing the car but I'm sure he'll have time to chat."

Cas smiled at me. "Thanks, Sam. I'll go and speak to him."

I kept my eyes trained on my book until he'd left the room, breaking down into hushed laughter as soon as he was out of hearing. Scrambling up from the table, I darted after him, stepping lightly and silently across the floor. I caught up to him in the corridor, hiding behind corners and creeping along behind him. Cas reached the ajar door to the garage unaware that I was barely ten feet behind him, shadowed by an alcove. He pushed open the door and stepped through, striding into the large space. Slipping into the room behind him, I stepped behind a wheeled shelving unit and snickered silently as Castiel staggered to a dead halt at the sight in front of him.

The Impala was parked in the middle of the garage, well lit and covered in soapy water. Dean was half-kneeling on the bonnet to scrub at the centre of the windshield, wearing a ragged grey t shirt and his special car washing shorts. They were tiny and acid green and barely reached a few inches below his buttocks, leaving the full length of his well-muscled legs bare, save a few soap suds. I had given him so much shit for those shorts over the years, but Dean insisted that they were 'practical'. Right now they made him look like some kind of discount gay pornstar. I could see Cas's profile and his mouth was hanging open, probably wondering if he'd fallen asleep and was having some weird fantasy.

"...Dean?" came his hoarse whisper.

Dean whipped his head up at the sound. His face had a moment to register pure horror and then he was slipping clumsily down the hood of the car, yelping as he squeaked to a halt on his stomach, neon green ass sticking up. I pressed my fist to my mouth, the suppressed laughter making my belly ache. This was already fucking glorious. Dean scrambled to his feet, the front of his skimpy outfit soaked, face flushing even brighter than the damn booty shorts. He clutched the sodden rag in his hands and stared at Cas, who had his fists clenched by his sides and was breathing rather deeply. The way he was looking at Dean made me worry suddenly if I'd be able to leave the room quickly and quietly if I needed to in a hurry; I didn't need to see an actual porno, even if it looked exactly like the set up for one.

"Dean," Castiel said again, voice flat and calm even as his eyes raked over the man in question. "Sam said you'd be in here."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "Oh, did he?"

"Yes. He said you'd be washing the car."

"Yeah, well..." Dean gestured helplessly to the car, shifting uncomfortably on the spot, eyes flickering from the floor to Cas's unwavering gaze and then back again. The ex-angel nodded and walked directly over to Dean, purpose in every step. I gulped and got ready to bolt if things took a ratings switch. Dean watched him approach with a ridiculous mixture of stark fear and mounting excitement clear on his face, which abruptly turned to confusion as Castiel grabbed the cloth from his hand and walked to the car.

"Let me help," he said simply, leaning over the bonnet in the same pose Dean had been in when he entered the room, carefully swiping the rag across the windshield. Dean blatantly stared at his ass in the jogging pants and I rolled my eyes. This was a porno without the goddamn porn, for which I was grateful, but it was a bit tragic. Trust these two to be drowning in sexual tension and still not make a move to help themselves. Scratching the back of his neck, Dean mumbled his thanks as Cas finished wiping suds off of the glass and straightened up, blue eyes twinkling.

Passing the rag back into Dean's slack grip, Castiel wandered over to the shelving unit on the other side of the car and leaned against it, folding his arms and gazing at Dean with no shyness whatsoever. Dean appeared robbed of anything more than basic function and was standing there staring back at him in utter silence, lips parted and eyes wide. Finally, after several seconds of me silently mouthing at him to stop acting like a fucking idiot, he stirred.

"Thanks," he said again, weakly, and Cas smiled kindly.

"You already thanked me, Dean. You obviously know more about car washing than me, though. You carry on."

Dean frowned, twisting the rag again. "What about you?"

Cas actually smirked at him, the cheeky bastard, and I wondered if he hadn't taken notes from Meg. He cocked his head and ran his eyes up and down Dean in a leisurely way, crossing one ankle over the other. "I'll watch."

Well, shit. I saw Dean's chest hitch with his sharp inhale. He looked like he might pass out. They stared at each other for several long, unbroken seconds before Dean turned abruptly and walked back to the car. My mouth dropped open as he began polishing the side window, head bowed and eyes trained on his hands. OK, nope, I really wanted to leave the room now. They hadn't even touched and I was learning way too much about their sex life. Which they didn't actually have, as far as I knew. Cas looked relaxed and unmistakably smug, shamelessly checking my brother out from his spot by the shelving. I shuddered. I had not wanted to know that Cas was the dominant one in their weird little hands-free relationship. This was what I damn well deserved, though, for following him into the room.

Dean finished that side of the car in total silence, cheeks flushed and breathing shallow. Cas followed his every movement with gleaming blue eyes, chewing on his lower lip. I loitered in deep discomfort, wanting more than ever for them to just fucking make out already so that I could slip out of the room and never return. But they both seemed to be getting some kind of kick out of the heavy silence and heightened tension. Gross. I was intensely glad that Dean was hidden by and facing the car so that it was impossible to see if the spaciousness of those stupid shorts was being tested. I refused to let my eyes stray below the waist on Cas, unwilling to risk permanent mental scarring.

Castiel spoke up suddenly, his deep voice making both myself and my brother jump. "I like those shorts, Dean."

Oh, shit, this was so weird. Whatever colour had faded from Dean's cheekbones returned in full force. He swallowed thickly before replying, looking at Cas from under his lashes. "Thanks."

"Do you always wear them to wash the car?"

His voice was light and conversational, but I was still half-expecting Dean to call him 'sir'. Dean nodded, watching Cas's face with rapt attention. He was acting so unlike himself it was creepy to watch. I wondered if he was always like this when alone with Cas; softer, quieter, more submissive and gentle. It was sort of nice - in a very fucked up way - that he could be like that at all, with anyone. Cas was smiling at him, uncrossing his arms to shove his hands into his pockets. They had another little staring contest before Dean suddenly seemed to come to his senses, shaking out of whatever spell he'd been under. He looked at the car, frowning, and his voice came out louder and gruffer this time.

"What did you come down here for, Cas?"

The ex-angel straightened at his tone, the smile faltering, his eyes unsure and a bit scared now. He watched Dean closely as he replied. "I wanted to talk to you. I've had more of the nightmares."

Dean's eyes softened as he turned back to look at his friend. "The same ones?"

Castiel shrugged. "Mostly the same, yes."

"Cas," Dean sighed, looking sad. "I told you, you... you don't have to go through that alone. Why didn't you come see me?"

Cas looked away and bit his lip, missing the way Dean tracked the movement with his sharp green gaze. "I wanted to."

There was a pause and I leaned forward, horribly intrigued by this. Clearly there were whole levels of interaction between these two which I knew nothing about. Dean dropped the rag and ran a damp hand through his hair, making it stand up. He sighed again, frustrated this time.

"So... why didn't you?"

Cas glanced at him then looked away again, and now he was the one who was blushing. He answered in almost a murmur and I had to strain to hear it. "After the first time, it seemed like I should stay away."

Holy shit, what had gone on between them? My eyebrows couldn't possibly have raised any higher. Dean crossed his arms, looking uncomfortable but determined. "Don't worry about it, man. I was the one who was weird about it, not you."

I wasn't sure what exactly they were discussing but I was really impressed by Dean's behaviour. He was actually trying to work through something which was emotionally confronting for him. He was never this mature or open with anyone else. I was more convinced than ever that these two needed to be together. I looked at Cas and he was giving Dean a tremulous, adoring smile. Fucking typical.

"OK, Dean. Next time I have a nightmare, I'll come and tell you. Alright?"

"Alright," Dean grinned, looking relieved. He grabbed the rag from the floor and dipped it into the bucket of soapy water, walking around to my side of the car and beginning to scrub the back door. Thankfully a serious conversation appeared to have dealt with any challenges the earlier exchange might have presented to his shorts. Cas watched him fondly and then pushed off from the shelving, walking past Dean with a quiet farewell and a final backward glance at the booty shorts. Dean nodded without looking up and scrubbed at the same spot until the ex-angel was well out of the room. Then he leaned his forehead against the roof of the car, groaning quietly.

Smirking to myself, I tiptoed out as well. I had learned much from my spying, much more than I had ever wanted to know. But at least now I knew beyond doubt that I was in the right, and that my efforts were paying off. Dean and Castiel seemed closer than ever. I hummed as I strolled back to my book, wondering if I would even know about it when they finally did get together. They already acted more like a couple than most couples. Idjits.


	5. The time when it actually was a moose

**Last chapter, and it's extra long :D This chapter is mostly in third person but then it switches back to MooseVision (Sam's POV) for the last part.**

 **Thanks for the response to this story and for the reviews!**

The time when it actually was a moose

Rain lashed against the windshield and the wipers squeaked furiously trying to keep up, almost drowning out the music on the radio. Castiel sat quietly in the passenger seat, watching the pattern of water on the glass and smiling as he listened to Dean sing along.

 _Victim of love, I see a broken heart_

 _I could be wrong but I'm not, no I'm not_

 _Victim of love, we're not so far apart_

 _Show me, what kind of love have you got?_

Dean was drumming on the steering wheel as he sung half under his breath, face relaxed despite the stormy night outside. He glanced across at his companion and broke out of the song to speak.

"Hey Cas, has Sam texted you?"

"Dean, it's just a sprained ankle." But Castiel checked his phone as he spoke. "Ah... I've run out of battery. But I'm sure he's absolutely fine, and he didn't miss much. It was just a salt 'n' burn."

Dean smiled smugly at the casual use of hunting jargon by his best friend. He'd never say it, partly because he was deeply afraid that Cas would disagree, but he thought that the angel becoming human was one of the best things that had ever happened to them all. Having Castiel around as a fellow hunter, living with them, sharing their lives, made Dean the most content he had ever been.

Lightning forked the sky and Dean slowed slightly as he took a corner, still going too fast for a rainy night, but he'd never been a cautious driver. He opened his mouth to comment on the Colorado weather to Castiel, but the words turned to a yell of alarm as a dark shape loomed in front of the car-

Next thing Dean was aware of was the slow drip of blood from his nose onto his hand. He groaned as he leaned his head back, tensing in case of neck injury. He seemed fine though, except for the bruised eye socket and bloodied nose from smacking his face into the steering wheel. Opening his eyes and dragging his sleeve across his upper lip, he fumbled for his seatbelt and unfastened it.

"Cas?" he mumbled, peering next to him in the dark. Another flash of lightning illuminated an unconscious Castiel, face battered like Dean's. Heart thumping, Dean scrambled onto his knees in his seat and leaned over his friend, cupping his cheek. "Shit, Cas, baby, come on, wake up..."

Dean barely had time to pause and wonder where the fuck 'baby' had come from before Castiel stirred, mumbling Dean's name. Dean sighed in relief, quickly removing his hand.

"Cas! You're OK, buddy, just got knocked out. How's your neck?"

The ex-angel shifted in his seat and Dean heard him hiss with pain, but the next flash of lightning revealed that he was just touching his bruised and cut forehead.

"I'm alright, Dean. Are you? What happened?"

"Fine, fine, blood nose and a black eye, ain't the first time. Uh, I think we almost hit an animal. A fucking moose, actually."

Castiel chuckled in the dark, the sound blending in with the hammering of rain on the car roof. "I guess Sam is with us after all."

"Ha, very funny. I swerved and we ran off the road. Hang on..."

Dean fumbled for the keys and tried the engine hopefully, but there was no response. Even the headlights were out. The whole car was dead; they must have gone over some rocks that really messed up her undercarriage, and he couldn't see much through the rain and dark but he thought they might have crashed into a tree. He swore under his breath and felt in his pocket for his phone. It wasn't there. He swore again, louder, remembering suddenly that he'd left it on charge in the motel. He'd never ever done that before. What the hell were the chances?

"Cas, did you say your phone's dead?"

"Yes..."

"Great. Just fucking great. Well, I don't have mine and the Impala isn't going anywhere anytime soon."

"Oh... right. Well, what should we do?"

Dean craned his neck to look up towards the road, or where he assumed the road would be if he could see anything through the mud-splashed windows and the rain-swept dark. It was a quiet back road in the middle of the night, no one would be coming past for hours. He swore again, this time in defeat.

"We can't really do anything. We should just stay here, I guess, wait until the weather clears up and we can start walking to find help."

He felt rather than saw Cas nod in agreement and he prickled with guilt. He'd been driving too fast. What if he'd gotten his friend hurt? Killed? He was mortal now.

"I'm sorry, Cas."

Castiel's jacket rustled against the leather seat as he shifted. "Don't be. It was the moose's fault."

Dean laughed. He crossed his arms, feeling chilly. It was a cold night and without the heating on in the dead car, he was feeling it. Cas would be too. He leaned his head back and listened to the rain for a minute, finding it oddly soothing even though it was trapping them in the car. Castiel spoke up suddenly.

"Dean, we're probably going to be here for a matter of hours. Should we move into the back seat and be more comfortable?"

Dean agreed and grunted as he hauled himself through the gap between the front seats. Finally settling down on the back seat with a grumble, he rubbed his shoulder where he'd yanked it. Well, he wasn't as young as he used to be, plus he'd just been in a fucking car crash. He watched the dim shape of Castiel squeezing through the gap too. He was just thinking that the ex-angel was doing a far more elegant job of it than him when Cas gave an undignified squawk and toppled into Dean's lap.

"Sorry," came his muffled voice from Dean's shoulder, but Dean barely heard him. He had a mouthful of soft hair and armfuls of a warm, firm body, as well as a noseful of a familiar scent. Castiel, by some twist of chance, had landed straddling Dean perfectly, no knees or elbows in unfortunate places. His weight felt oddly satisfying on Dean's legs and his back muscles twitched as Dean gripped his jacket instinctively.

"Cas," Dean mumbled stupidly as the man in question raised his head and tried to shift backwards. Without planning to, Dean tightened his arm around Castiel's waist and placed the other high on his thigh, keeping him in place. There was a moment of stillness as they both froze and stared at each other, inches apart in the almost-total blackness. The tiny amount of light that Dean could see was reflected dully in Castiel's eyes, shining at him.

"Cas," Dean said again in a whisper, feeling dizzy and very much like he'd sustained a head injury, which he had, come to think of it, but that still didn't mean he ought to be breathing his friend's name in a pleading tone and leaning towards him and-

Castiel gasped sharply against blood-flecked lips as Dean kissed him gently, almost timidly. The moment hung still and thick between them and for a horrible moment, Dean thought that he'd just ruined everything. But then Cas's hands were sliding against his shoulders and neck, long fingers curling into short hair. His mouth opened hungrily and Dean moaned as the kiss deepened, digging his blunt nails in where his hands rested.

Dean felt as though he was in one of his rushed, shame-drenched fantasies, as though he'd open his eyes and find the shower tiles or his bedroom ceiling looking back at him, but Castiel's cold fingers on his skin and warm tongue on his lips were definitely real. Never one for shyness, Dean dropped his other hand and ran both of them firmly up Castiel's thighs, revelling in the way it made his angel arch into him, chest heaving against chest.

Part of Dean was wondering why he didn't feel more like he'd somehow failed by giving into his most secret desire like this. He didn't really feel as though he was doing anything wrong, though. Hell, judging by the soft groans Cas was offering into his mouth, he was doing everything right. He'd known that Castiel wanted him. He'd known that for years, really, although it had become blatantly obvious once the angel turned human. He'd also known, for almost as long, that he himself returned the attraction. It just felt safer to ignore it. Cas seemed content to remain friends and Dean was terrified of testing such dangerous, unknown waters.

Well, caution had been thrown out the window, and Dean wasn't about to ruin a fucking amazing make-out session by having some kind of emotional crisis. Now the only problem was that Castiel's knees against the backrest were preventing him from grinding against Dean to full effect. Wrapping eager arms around the man on his lap, Dean broke away from the kiss and nuzzled Cas's throat instead, feeling the unfamiliar sensation of stubble against his lips. It felt good. Sucking a red mark into Castiel's thudding pulse point, Dean awkwardly maneuvered them so that Cas was laid back on the seat and Dean was straddling him lightly.

"Dean, are you... are... are you sure?"

Castiel's voice was throaty and breathless and Dean immediately decided that he needed to hear more of it, preferably moaning his name. He pressed a line of kisses down Cas's neck, tugging his collar aside to reach his clavicle.

"Shit, yes," he mumbled against it, other hand pushing Castiel's shirt up to run cool fingers across his jumping stomach. "Are you?"

He pulled back suddenly, bracing one hand beside the ex-angel's head, stilling the other on his bare side. "Cas, you're in charge here, I want you to know that. You can tell me to stop any ti-"

He was cut off with a surprised noise as Cas grabbed his collar and pulled him back down for a fierce kiss, sinking his teeth into Dean's lower lip before soothing it with his tongue.

"Please don't stop," came the muffled reply, and Dean actually fucking whimpered. He was so done for.

* * *

I eased myself out of my chair as my brother and his best friend arrived home from their latest hunting trip, bags slung over their shoulders. I'd been secretly fine with staying home due to my injury. Any excuse to get Dean and Castiel to spend some time together; besides, I rather appreciated the time to just relax with Kevin and have less of a damn queue for the bathroom.

This trip had been a dramatic one, though, due to the crash. I'd been shocked to receive a text from Castiel the previous day informing me that they'd crashed the car overnight and they were getting it towed back to the bunker, and that they'd have some rest and then rent a car to come back. The Impala had been a fucking wreck when she'd made it home, but I knew that Dean would fix her as always. Now, looking at the two tired, bruised men standing in front of me, I realised that I'd really missed them both. I grinned and got up, hobbling towards them.

"Hey, Dean, Cas, you made it back!" I exclaimed happily, pulling them both into the same hug. They both grunted in surprise and I let go quickly.

"Hello, Sam. How's your ankle?" Cas asked in his calm, friendly tone. Dean was looking a little off, busying himself with the strap of his bag and avoiding eye contact. I frowned at him before answering Castiel.

"Yeah, much better, thanks. And you? You weren't injured? You look a bit beat up."

Cas raised his fingertips to his yellowing forehead and smiled ruefully. "It could have been much worse. The crash ended up being very helpful, actually-"

"Where's Kevin?" Dean interrupted loudly, unmistakable panic in his eyes, one of which was slightly puffy. Cas shot him a mildly impatient look and I raised my eyebrows. Something was going on here. Like, more than usual.

"He's in his room," I replied slowly. "You wanna go see him?"

Dean glanced at Cas and as their eyes met, mine narrowed suspiciously. I watched their usual silent communication with rapt focus and I didn't miss the odd little smile that Cas gave my brother as he turned back to me. It looked almost reassuring. He fixed serious blue eyes on me as he spoke.

"I'm going to go and see Kevin, Sam. You and Dean stay here."

Without another word, he hefted his bag and strode out of the room. I turned back to Dean as soon as he'd left.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded. Dean winced and looked away, gesturing towards a chair and settling down in the adjacent one. I sat and stared at him, waiting. He sighed and raised his gaze to mine with something that looked like dread. What the fuck? I started to wonder if someone had died. Jody? Garth? Kevin's Mom? My heart rate picked up as I went through the possibilities-

"I had sex with Cas."

Dean blurted out the words as though they were burning his mouth and then instantly looked horrified at himself. "Well, no, that's not what I mean. Although we did. Have sex. Yeah. But what I mean is-"

"You had sex with Cas?" I repeated, leaning forward in sudden excitement. Dean gulped and nodded slowly, eyes pleading. His expression turned to shocked relief as the biggest, smuggest grin I had ever worn spread across my face. I clapped Dean on the shoulder heartily, giving a victory whoop. "Holy shit, dude!"

He frowned at me, clearly bemused, but let out a slow breath and seemed slightly less tense, though still nowhere near calm. "Right, well, I'm glad that you, uh... approve. Thanks. Anyway, it's not just that. We're a thing now. Like, a thing. We're a thing, Sammy."

Dean rambled, looking increasingly terrified, and I rolled my eyes. "Dean, please, you and Castiel have been a 'thing' since you met."

I pulled my phone out of my pocket as I spoke and Dean paused his hyperventilating to frown anxiously at me. "What are you doing?"

"I have to tell Charlie."

"What? Why?"

"She ships it."

"What?"

"Sshhh, it's fine. So how did it happen? Not the sex, holy shit, I do not want to know about that. But you getting together?" I leaned forward again and Dean twisted his face up as though trying to decide what to say. I waited for several seconds while he pondered my question.

"Well... it was the sex..." he eventually replied, shrugging and blushing. I closed my eyes in exasperation. "That's how we... I mean, we just sort of... and then we were a thing. Are a thing."

"For fuck's sake, Dean," I groaned, but just then my phone started ringing. It was Charlie. I pressed 'answer' and smirked as her screeching echoed out of the speaker, making Dean flinch.

I passed her over to him silently and settled back to watch him try to explain himself between her bouts of delighted babbling. Despite his eye-rolling and head-shaking, I could see a pleased smile playing around his mouth, which grew into an irrepressible grin as he spotted Cas sidling back into the room, an amused Kevin in tow. I glanced between my brother and his angel and breathed a long sigh of relief. Maybe it wasn't always going to be easy, and maybe there would need to be some serious adjustments, but against all odds... they were a thing.

Finally.

 **The End. Thanks for reading! Please review!**


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